Search
Recommended Products
Related Links


 
 

 

 

Informative Articles

Baby crib sets - safety tips for baby crib sets
Baby crib sets are the fun part of the nursery. The crib has been purchased and assembled (don’t you just love the directions!) and the mattress installed. Whether you wish to design your own custom baby crib sets or select ready-made styles, the...

Cat history and Advantages of Keeping Cats
The Cat was a pet at least eight thousand years ago because bones of cats, mice and humans were found buried together on the ancient island of Cyprus. In ancient Egypt, the cat was a pet at least five thousand years ago. The cat was considered to be...

Hair Care for Children
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They are boring, full of strangers and strange smelling products, you are being ordered to sit still for ages, whilst some idiot is doing terrible things to your hair which you didn't want to...

James Bond
“He’ll light the fuse on any explosive situation” – Miranda Frost NOBODY DOES IT BETTER James Bond, the world famous super spy. Complete with the gadgets, cars, style and women. Everyone woman wants him. Every man wants to be him. Perhaps the...

Self Esteem
Self Esteem, how does one find it, low self esteem, how does one get it? Esteem: (definition according to Websters Dictionary) to value, appraise, estimate, to have great regard for; value highly; favorable opinion, high regard… To have...

"Stand on Your Head and Laugh" - Kids These Days
Stand on Your Head and Laugh - Kids These Days by Lady Camelot Over the course of spring and summer breaks, my teenage kids find multiple ways to antagonize me. One of my daughter's favorite complaints is, "...I'm bored. There is nothing to do."...

Stand on your Head and Laugh: Kids these Days
Suddenly, it dawns on me that I was once the tyrannical 10-year old who "had nothing to do..." Over the course of spring and summer breaks, my teenage kids find multiple ways to antagonize me. One of my daughter's favorite complaints...

The Way We Weigh America
The media says Americans are overweight. Is this cause for concern? You see it in the news every other day. “Americans Too Fat” or “Obesity a Big Problem” or “Senator Jones is a Big Fat Liar”. Do headlines like this bother you? They should,...

Video Game Violence...What do you think about it?
Ever since video game designers were able to put red pixels on their imaginary characters that had recently deceased, there have been people crusading against their subversive ways. The outrage at video games seems to be cyclic, fading very briefly...

Voom through Dish Network
In earlier decades, cable television was an added incentive to America's households. Now, it's considered more of a mainstream commodity. While current technology is continually advancing, television's development has closely followed suit. Further,...

 
 
 
Wonk, Wonk, Wonk - How To Train Your Kids To Ignore You

It started with a trip to the grocery store. While I waited for the cashier to ring up my items, a mother behind me was delivering a soliloquy (only she didn't recognize it as such!).

"Suzy, you're not going to take that home."
"Suzy, you can carry that around but I'm not buying that."
"Suzy, you've been naughty. Why should I buy that for you?"
"Suzy, put that away. I'm not paying for it."
"suzy, everyone is looking at how much trouble you're causing."

And on and on and on...

I was so thankful when the cashier gave me my total. I was tired of this woman blathering on and I don't have to live with her! Poor Suzy. She is being trained to ignore her Mother. The more Mom talks, the less she hears. Mom needs to learn rule number one:

Less Talk, More Action

Remember the Peanuts cartoons? When one of the adults spoke, all the kids heard was "wonkwonkwonkwonk". The more you lecture, threaten, warn, count to 3, etc... the less your child listens. Stop diluting your effectiveness as a parent with these non-actions. Use natural consequences as often as possible, and deliver the consequence calmly and swiftly. For example:

If your two year old won't stop running into the street, clearly explain to her that if she does it, she will be taken inside for the day. Then, when she does it (and she will, of course, cute little Scientist that she is!), calmly and without fanfare, escort her inside. Don't give her warnings or "another chance".

Toddlers and young kids don't understand an abstract concept like getting hit by a car... something they've never seen, felt or tasted. So talking about it until you're blue in the face is unlikely to do any good.

But what they DO understand is cause and effect. "If I do "X", then Mommy does "X"... EVERY TIME. Even young babies learn this. Ever noticed how excited your baby gets right before you feed him? He's learned that when you hold him a certain way,

 


food is forthcoming. Our kids are smarter than we think sometimes.

Another example: Two siblings are fighting about a toy. Don't waste your time trying to figure out who is in the wrong, it's virtually impossible and just encourages tattling. The children will learn how to work out their own negotiations if involving the parent means unpleasantness. The toy is put up for a period of time. End of story. Toy squabbles will dramatically decrease almost magically!

Let Your Yes Mean Yes & Your No, No

Do what you say you will do. If you tell your child that acting up in the grocery store means no cookie from the bakery at the end of the trip, MEAN it. I'll never forget the look on my 2 year old daughter's face as she watched her brothers eat huge chocolate chip cookies while she went empty handed! Few things impress a young child more than you holding to your words, calmly and without a lot of emotion (that just makes you look like an idiot). Children don't respect you if you are always swinging back and forth like a pendulum. Decide what's important to you and expect those limits to be respected.

This rule makes parenting so much easier because your kids will stop testing you so much, which is just their way of saying "Do you really mean it?".

The flip side of this is that when you promise something positive, you had better make good on it! If you do this, your children will learn that you mean what you say.


About the Author: Carrie Lauth is a homeschooling Mom of 4. For more positive parenting and discipline tips, visit http://www.natural-moms.com/Parenting_positive_discipline.html

Source: www.isnare.com