Self Esteem
Self Esteem, how does one find it, low self esteem, how
does one get it?
Esteem: (definition according to Websters Dictionary) to value,
appraise, estimate, to have great regard for; value highly;
favorable opinion, high regard…
To have low self esteem is to not value, or have high
regard for yourself. People with low self esteem never feel
in charge of their own lives. They often feel like victims. They feel like outsiders, left
out, unimportant, etc.. However low self esteem has two faces.
One is the personality that seems to always be the underdog, the
under achiever, the negative one, the one who says I can’t, I
couldn’t, I shouldn’t, I have to. The other face is the person
who seems very confident, a take charge type of person, very in
control, very opinionated, positional, and often in leadership
positions. All of this bravado is still a face of low self
esteem. This type of person, may exhibit any or all of these
traits: when things go wrong, wants to eat other people alive,
or is a perfectionist, demanding, and self centered, can’t take
criticism, instruction, or direction, is very independent and
self sufficient. They may be in leadership positions, and yet
not be true leaders. This type of low self esteem will often
deny that anything is wrong, because thinking they are in charge
is their protection, yet truly being in charge of your life,
eliminates anger, irritation, the desire to control others.
When a person truly esteems themselves, will take 100% responsibility
For their own lives. They let others
make decisions for themselves without trying to be in control,
and let others be responsible for their actions. Life lived
right is a delicate balance, and we all need help maintaining
this balance. What is the face of true self esteem? Those with
true self esteem are in charge of their lives. They take 100%
responsibility for everything that happens in their lives. If
relationships are not working in their life, they ask, what is
it in me that is attracting this type of person or what am I
doing to create this situation, instead of blaming the other
person,… if only they would, or could do this or that. If their
finances are not what they desire, they ask what can I do to
change this and they tap into their
creative, intuitive side to
do this. They do not waste time saying, there is never enough,
if only I had a better job, if only, if only. They set about
discovering why this is presently their situation. True self
esteem values itself, it says, I can do, I can have, I can make
my life what I desire it to be.
Think of the Cartoon, Winnie The Poo Eore has no self esteem,
he expects things to go wrong and they usually do. Tigger on
the other hand, bounces through life, always hopeful, always on
an adventure, even when his friends try to pull him in, he just
sees the bouncy side of things. He exasperates those who need
total order, or control. Tigger is truly, just Tigger. He
loves his friends just as they are and even grouchy old rabbit
can’t dampen his spirits. I love Tigger, though I certainly
have had my Eore moments! If you get a chance, watch the
cartoon or read a Poo book. See who you identify with and who
irritates you….
This week try and be aware of the times you feel
uncomfortable, depressed, discouraged, irritated, frustrated,
out of control, or the flip side, very independent, self
sufficient, (don’t need any one else, I will do it myself, no
one else can do it right), opinionated, critical, positional,
and ask yourself, where am I not valuing myself. Start a
journal. Keep track, start to be responsible for your life and
yourself, find creative intuitive ways to make changes, your
inner self knows what it needs. Read a book on self
improvement, take a class, find a support group, get a coach!!
Get in touch with your true self which is perfect in every way.
Your true self esteems who it is because it knows it was created
perfect by a perfect creator. It is the false self that finds
fault in who it is and lacks self esteem. Finding your Authentic or
true self is the only adventure you can’t afford to miss in life.
I am a Life Coach. I have a background in business, sales, public relations, and spiritual counseling. I own and operate Authentically You Retreats and Life Coaching .
My Life Purpose is to live a life of Authenticity, Spiritual Truth, Abundance, Creativity and Celebration of all life's possibilities.
I believe there is greatness in each individual and my joy is to take others on the adventure of finding their own greatness.
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