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All I Want for Christmas is My Son Back
The holidays are upon us … and how they churn up our emotions. The expectations … the memories … the empty chairs … Somewhere there’s the Norman Rockwell family celebrating , but it was never at my house. Was it at yours? A client and I have in...
Baby Clothes For All Seasons
Few things seem more important at a baby shower than duckies, monkeys and theme colors. Once you get the baby home though, the most important thing about baby clothes is how well they protect your baby.Depending on the time of year that your baby is...
Calculate Your Due Date Easily with an Online Pregnancy Calculator
The online resources and tools available have never been greater with calendar pregnancy weekly and online ovulation calculator to assist couples before, during and after pregnancy. A free online calendar pregnancy weekly provides a wonderful system...
Finding a Breeder
If you are looking for a Papillon or Phalene puppy for sale Much has been written on how to find a reputable breeder. All in an attempt to put a stop to pet mills and abandoned dogs. But too many prospective puppy buyers are just as...
Mommy & Baby: More Parenting Tidbits
Diapers: as a rule, most PDF babies will need a diaper change that corresponds with their feeding times. This will total 6-8 diapers per day, or more if you manage to change your baby prior to her pooping. Most new parents learn to "time" the diaper...
Mother in Good Humor
Children - the little buggers can drain your energy, break your valuables and absolutely send you to the moon sometimes. The range of trouble can go from babies with their high decibel crying to toddlers with their never-ending, cluttering curiosity...
Sweep Away Colic Baby Crying with White Noise
It doesn’t make sense does it? You do everything possible as a new parent to keep your baby healthy and happy. So why is it, your baby decides to start screaming inconsolably right around dinner time? Just when you need it least. Ask yourself… ...
Teaching Sign Language to Your Baby
Many people are turning to sign language as a teaching tool for their babies. Teaching sign language is not just a trendy thing to do, but it has become some of the earliest education many children are receiving as parents are taking the lead in...
Tips For A Healthy Pregnancy
Giving birth will no doubt be one of the most magical moments of
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Toilet Training Your Child
What a baffling time this can be for both parent and baby or
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A Little Girl With A Big Question
A few nights back, I was enjoying the nightly ritual of combing out my daughter's long hair after her bath. She always engages me in thought-provoking conversations during this time. It's become a special bonding session for us each evening, even if it's just to go over the new experiences she's had that day.
This time, though, she caught me off guard. My darling daughter, who won't even be five years old until next week, asked the famous question, "Mom, where do babies come from?"
I immediately started to respond, "Well, honey, when a man and a woman love each other, their love can make a baby...."
At this point, she quickly interrupted me..."No, mom, I mean, how does the baby get inside the mommy's tummy?"
That was all it took for me. Ten years of reading parenting magazines and advice books continuously, and I had forgotten everything I ever read on the proper response to this line of questioning. My chin dropped to my chest, and my mind was blank.
Luckily, I realized that I had to recover from my momentary brain-freeze, and come up with some sort of answer. My daughter isn't the type to let something go unanswered. To buy myself some time, I told her it wasn't easy to explain, and I'd look for a book that we could read together. This seemed to satisfy her for the time being.
Now, with a few days to get back to her, I can help other parents avoid being caught in the same situation. I'm sure I am not the only parent unprepared to have this conversation with a child this young. So what's the best approach, according to the 'experts'?
Regarding the best time to start talking about sex with your child, Planned Parenthood says, "It's best to start as soon as children begin getting sexual messages. And they start getting them as soon as they're born. But don't worry if you haven't started yet. It's never too late. Just don't try to "catch up" all at once. The most important thing is to be open and available whenever a child wants to talk. The rest will take care of itself." (How to Talk With Your Child About Sexuality: A Parent's Guide)
According to Pandorah Turner of www.RaisingKids.tv, "Your 5-year-old daughter may be happy with the simple answer that babies come from a seed that grows in a special place inside
the mother. Dad helps when his seed combines with mom's seed, which causes the baby to start to grow" (Article: Talking To Your Daughter About The Birds & The Bees). To me, that seems
like a very comfortable way to answer her question. However, it scares me to think what she might ask next!
Many experts state that you should only offer the information that your young children ask
for. If you get too involved beyond their specific questions, most likely they won't retain
what you tell them. There is nothing wrong with admitting to your child that you don't know the answer to their question. Instead of possibly providing incorrect information, offer to
look up the answers and get back to them, but make sure that you follow through. Be sure to use correct terminology when answering questions, especially when referring to anatomy. If
the words make you uncomfortable, practice saying them when you are alone, before you try using them in conversations with your child.
When talking with a 2.5 to 5 year old, according to www.siecus.org, "You could say, 'Babies grow in a special place inside a mommy called a uterus.' If your child seems interested
and asks more questions, offer more simple answers. The actual information you give your preschooler is less important than showing you're willing to talk openly about sexuality."
There are many books available on the subject, also. For example:
"How Babies Are Made" by Andrew C. Andry, Steven Schepp, Blake Hampton (Illustrator)
ASIN/0316042277
"Did the Sun Shine Before You Were Born" by Sola Gordon, Judith Gordon, Vivien Cohen (Illustrator), Sol Gordon
ASIN/087975723X
"How You Were Born" by Joanna Cole, Margaret Miller (Photographer)
ASIN/068812061X
And there are videos for your use, too, like:
"How To Talk With Your Young Children About Sex...And Why It's Important"
ASIN/096779840X
So, moms and dads, help is out there - make sure you look for it before you get stuck in my shoes! After picking up a few books, I'll be ready to educate my daughter. I'd rather have
her learn about it here at home, than from the media, or her classmates. We live in a society where sex is everywhere we look. We can't simply avoid these uncomfortable conversations. Our children will learn about it. The important thing is to make sure they learn correctly. And if we keep them comfortable with asking us now, they will be much more likely to turn to us later in life as the outside world gets more complex.
My daughter reminded me once again that our children will continue to grow up, whether we are ready for them to or not. Sure, she's only going on five years old now, but I look back
at these last five years, and I wonder how they could have gone by so amazingly fast. The next five years, and ten years, will be gone just as quickly. In today's whirlwind world,
procrastination is not our best option.
About the Author
Valerie Zilinsky is a married mother of two young children, and 'WebMom' of http://www.RaisingOurKids.com
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