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3 Keys To Overcoming Problems
Are you stuck in a rut? Do you seem to have the same problems popping up time after time? What will it take to finally get you over your problems and into the abundant life? Here are three biblical principles to help you get out of whatever personal...
Addressing Alcoholism with Diet and Nutrition
Alcoholism is a very complex problem that is rampant in our society and has many variables that need to be addressed simultaneously. The success rate with mainstream treatment options is poor at best. The nutrition and diet components are rarely...
Are You Codependent or Independent?
Why is it that depending on others to fulfill our self worth is a concept that we all can relate to? Sacrificing what our thoughts, emotions, decisions, and likes or dislikes are, for the betterment of someone else’s.
It is as if depending on...
Drug Addiction Treatment Centers: A Fresh Start
You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the resource box is included, and you do not take credit as the author. You must send a courtesy copy of your publication or a website link to,...
Five Tips to De-stress Your Life
Copyright 2005 Kathy Paauw I recently received this e-mail message about stress management (author unknown)… ------------------------ A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is...
Mannerly Behavior 101
I was standing in line in the drugstore this evening and up walked a father with his 10 year old son. And what did the 10 year old boy have on? A t-shirt that said “I wish my babysitter were a HOOTER girl.” I was quietly appalled. I hear the most...
Overcoming Negative Beliefs
In India, the method for training an elephant is the following: When the elephant is very young, its leg is tied to a small post with a thin piece of rope. At that age the elephant hasn't the power to break the rope or dislodge the post. It tries...
The Challenges of Single Parenting
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated. Title: The Challenges of Single...
The Dating Scene - Signs of a Promising Relationship
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated. For other articles...
Unchaining Yourself from an Unhealthy Food Addiction
The cry of “I have no willpower!” often emerges from the consumers who jokingly surrender to their lack of will when it comes to eating something clearly unhealthy. However, scientific nutritional research has identified that something much more...
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Chatty Cathy
We all run across these people who talk and talk and talk. They forget to include you in their conversation. You know who I am talking about here. They are the ones who run a monologue on you and you just stand there for a while so shocked that you can't move then you yell fire! to get away from the conversation.
Now this person, who is chatty cathy, is using me for attention and approval she does not seem to be able to give to herself.
She does not offer me anything she just takes my energy. I call these people emotional vampires. Now if I just stand there and listen I am doing two things that I never want to do in my life. I am caregiving afraid to hurt this person's feelings and I am enabling her to continue in this non-productive behavior.
Now I have someone in mind as I write this article. She is so needy. I do feel sorry for her but I do not want to just give her pity. I also do not want to just stand and spend my precious time as she pacify or calm chronic insecurity, her lonliness, and her emptiness. Whenever, I am out with her she traps not only me but store clerks, bank tellers, whoever will listen and don't know how to get away from her without being impolite. I avoid this person whenever possible and finally had to just tell her I didn't have time to be at the end of a one sided conversation. I told her it drained me when she talked and talked and tried to fill up at my expense. Sound mean I don't think so. Most people would just avoid her and not answer the phone when her number comes up.
Now it is my belief that she needs to heal her addiction. The inner child in her is looking for attention. Perhaps the attention she never got as a child. Every time she traps someone into to listening to her she
is handing away her responsibility. It really is her that needs to listen to herself and pay attention. She needs to give that child approval. She wants someone else to take her responsibility. By handing the responsibility for her life back to her and treating her as an adult I am showing her respect that she deserves.
Like all addictions her's is trying to get someone to fill the hole in her soul.
I suggested to her that she listen to herself and start responding to her emotions and needs. She could perhaps spend some time journaling every night. She could start with small treats for herself like getting a massage, or a facial once a month. Maybe buy herself a new outfit. I told her that I had found a lot of self-love by listening to my needs. I also told her that at first it was very hard to give myself what I wanted and needed or to even recoginise what it was that I desired. I also told her that no one could fill those needs for her but her and Higher Power.Did she change I don't know because I have not seen her for a while. But I know I wasn't helping her by listening for hours to her monologue. I am showing love for myself by respecting my time. Now I am not saying you should not listen to your friends or family. Listenig is one of the most loving gifts one can give. I am saying to support someones addictions and not take care of you is just not healthy.
When you run across this kind of person look at what she might be mirroring in you. Ask yourself what need does she fill in your life. Is she an excuse to just be resentful?
Are you taking care of you by including this person in your life?
About the Author
Judi Singleton publishes eight blogs a week. Visit her at
http://totheuniverseblog.blogspot.com/
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